Body-Confidence for 40+ Women

Body-Confidence for 40+ Women 

Could These Feelings Be Menopause?

Sally Bartlett

It happened in the early 2000s, when I was in my 40s. In the middle of my martial arts class, I slugged a fellow mom-student repeatedly in the arm. Did I mention it was a family class? Unbeknownst to me, I was perimenopausal. I had been in denial for at least two years. But after that evening, there was no more denying.

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Just as I was, many women are in denial about being in perimenopause because we are out of touch with our bodies.

-Sally Bartlett, Speaker/Workplace Menopause Trainer/Author

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That reality check led me to take a deeper look into my life. Just as I was then, many women are in denial about being in perimenopause because we are out of touch with our bodies. Menopause is a transition that most of us dread. The good news is if we achieve Body-Confidence and approach this natural life stage with an open mind, it can be the best part of our lives.

Lately, menopause is more and more in the conversation, thankfully. While the discussion is typically about “menopause,” according to Kimberly Kesler O’Rourke, MD a lot of the problems or symptoms you hear are actually describing perimenopause. Perimenopause is the period of time in a woman’s life (average age is 43) when hormones in our bodies begin to fluctuate, and this can lead to all sorts of disruptions in the communication between our hormones, our brains, and our bodies.

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Premature Menopause is a transitional phase before menopause that can occur when a woman’s ovaries stop functioning normally before she is 40 years old. The median age of menopause is 51 years of age, whereas pre-menopause symptoms can begin before the age of 40.

-Carleeka Basnight-Menendez, Menopause Health and Wellness Advocate

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Menopause 101

• An estimated 6,000 women daily and more than 2 million women yearly reach menopause.
• Premature Menopause — CEO and founder of INSO, Inc. Carleeka Basnight-Menendez describes premature menopause as “a transitional phase before menopause that can occur when a woman’s ovaries stop functioning normally before she is 40 years old. The median age of menopause is 51 years of age, whereas pre-menopause symptoms can begin before the age of 40.”
• Perimenopause — The transitional time leading up to menopause, with symptoms that last anywhere from seven to 15 years.
• Menopause — The day when a woman has gone 12 consecutive months without a period, that one day is considered menopause.
• Post-Menopause — The rest of a woman’s life after that one day of menopause is known as post-menopause
• The estimated annual cost associated with lost days of work related to menopause symptoms among US women aged 45 to 60 years is $1.8 billion.
• Studies show 85% of all women experience menopause symptoms, 75% of women who seek care for those symptoms don’t receive any treatment, and 80% of OB-GYNs say they are not explicitly trained in perimenopause/menopause care.
• The numbers are even worse for women of color, who often experience perimenopause earlier and longer than white women and have an even harder time addressing health care concerns.
• “Women” refers to individuals born with a so-called female reproductive system (ovaries and breasts) as noted by Dr. Lisa Mosconi, The Menopause Brain. There are many people whose experiences vary.

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Menopause is a neurologically active process that impacts the brain in fairly unique ways.

-Dr. Lisa Mosconi, The Menopause Brain

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During the transition, our body is going through many changes at the cellular level, both hormonally and otherwise. Thanks to research being done by Dr. Mosconi, we now know that our brain, too, is very much a part of this process. According to Dr. Mosconi, menopause is a neurologically active process that impacts the brain in fairly unique ways.

Maybe you’ve already got this perimenopause thing dialed in. Maybe you’ve addressed things like weight gain, hot flashes, crying jags, brain fog, dramatic mood swings (with or without rage), anxiety, insomnia, and vaginal dryness through a product. That’s outstanding!

But be forewarned: Of these highly-touted products, many aim to make a profit off the naivete of this population; especially in the youth-glorifying culture of the US. Regardless of where we are in our longevity journey, we need to remember there is no quick fix or shortcut to successful aging, or what I call “Varsity Longevity.” I define Varsity Longevity as “Exemplary self-care over time that lends itself to reduction of disease risk and optimal quality of life on the physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual levels.” The following is a simple 3-step reality check to get your Varsity Longevity journey started.

Three-Step Reality Check for Varsity Longevity

1. Ditch Denial & Educate Yourself

2. Increase Your EQ

3. Become Body-Confident

1. Ditch Denial & Educate Yourself

Are you way too young and way too healthy to be transitioning into menopause? I know … I thought the same thing! Denial much? Say you’re 43 years of age. Even if your mom wasn’t post-menopausal till she was 50, that isn’t telling you how old she was when her perimenopausal symptoms began. Remember, perimenopause can last seven to 15 years. So your mom’s symptoms could have begun when she was 43 but she just wasn’t aware of what was happening!

Educating yourself about your personal menopause transition is imperative because menopause is the gateway to your successful aging. How you self-care will set the tone for the caliber of your aging journey. Do you want Varsity Longevity? Consider carefully what you want the quality of the rest of your life to look like. Now is the time to assess where you are. There’s still time to make changes and experience a Varsity Longevity journey. You are your own best advocate. Step up!

A good way to start educating yourself is to become as knowledgeable about and as confident/appreciative of your body as you can be. After all, look how far that body has brought you! Do you love and appreciate your body just as it is, today? That’s wonderful!

Or do you dislike your transitioning body? Do you speak about your body to yourself and to others using unkind words? Has this negative self-talk just begun recently or has this gone on for decades? Did it commence right after you delivered your first born child, for example?

Sadly, it is estimated that 20% to 40% of women are dissatisfied with their bodies and surprisingly, these numbers don’t decrease as women age. Translation: There is no time like the present to start being knowledgeable, confident, and appreciative about your body.

If you’re dissatisfied with your transitioning body, do you ever wonder why you keep going for the excess food (and excess alcohol), when it doesn’t feel good and actually results in feeling worse about your body? Not to mention that it fails to support a lifestyle that promotes disease risk reduction. Why do you continue to emotionally eat?

If you dislike your body, let’s park here briefly. It may surprise you to know: Excess food (and alcohol) are not what you’re really craving. What we’re all really craving is connection! Being Body-Confident includes connection at its core. Connection comes from emotional intelligence (EQ).

2. Increase Your EQ

When educating yourself, make sure you factor in the emotional component. Not as many professionals are making the connection between the importance of EQ and mental health during the menopause transition. Educate yourself about menopause in every way you can; physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.

Emotional Intelligence, or emotional literacy means you know how to recognize emotions, identify emotions, and express emotions in healthy, normal, and appropriate ways. Bad News: After decades of faulty problem solving, this skill doesn’t just come to you through osmosis because you are older. Good News: You’re never too old to learn new skills!

You might be wondering … what does Emotional Intelligence have to do with Varsity Longevity, Body-Confidence, and successful aging in general?

In a 2024 study by Journal of the American Heart Association (JAHA), results showed that episodes of anger are linked to increased risk of heart attack. It behooves you to address your anger and other emotions.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), Heart disease is the leading cause of death for women in the US, accounting for 1 in 5 of every female deaths. Of those, only about half of women know this fact. You want to have a healthy heart and EQ (recognizing, identifying, and expressing your emotions) can contribute to heart health.

What Does Emotional Intelligence

Have to do with Weight?

• It enables you to take back your power.
• It empowers you to set (and require others to respect) your boundaries.
• It facilitates your getting and staying emotionally current in all your relationships.
• All these actions give you the willingness to choose more nutritional foods and portion sizes on your plate, more of the time.

Again, it behooves you to learn to recognize, identify, and express emotions in healthy, normal, and appropriate ways. For those of you STEM and STEAM supporters, here’s an equation:

Meno Math

Increased EQ + Taking stock in relationships + Body-Confidence = Varsity Longevity

3. Become Body-Confident

To unpack Body-Confidence, let’s first talk about body image. According to licensed clinical psychologist Holly Schiff PsyD., Body Image is defined as: “a combination of your emotional attitudes, beliefs and perceptions about your own body.”

There are many terms, movements, and concepts used today in discussions about self-perception, health, and wellness as it relates to our relationship with our body and food. It is beyond the scope of this narrative to define all body image terms and definitions. However, below is a partial list of terms with links, as applicable. The EveryDayHealth Newsletter offers a more comprehensive list and definitions.

Partial List of Body Image Terminology

Body-Confidence

Disordered eating

Body dysmorphia

Orthorexia

Body neutrality

Body positivity

Body Liberation

Body shaming

Fat serenity

Health at Every Size (HAES)

Body respect

Intuitive eating

Diet culture

Weight bias

Diet mentality

I like to describe the relationship I have with my body and with food as “Body-Confident.” As a professional Health Coach, I work with women to help them get to and stay in that place.

Body-Confidence means I...

• Begin by loving the body I am in today
• Make friends with my body and make peace with food
• Strive to choose perfectly/imperfect self-loving foods and portion sizes, that support a reduced disease risk lifestyle WITHOUT extreme rigid diets and/or extreme exercise
• Move my body 30 minutes per day in a way that makes my heart sing while simultaneously…
• Connecting with others and taking stock in myself, my life, and my relationships. This in turn brings about …
• Improved immune and mental health and
• The ability to break free from negative self-talk; which leads to …
• Continued impetus to choose perfectly/imperfect self-loving foods and portion sizes, that support a lifestyle with decreased emotional eating, reduced disease risk, and Varsity Longevity!

Body-Confidence goes beyond vanity. By definition, it supports disease risk reduction.

Did you know that, according to the CDC six out of every 10 Americans live with at least one chronic disease. Four in 10 people have two or more conditions. Chronic conditions like heart disease, cancer, stroke, and diabetes take a heavy toll on our collective health; not to mention workplace productivity.

Body-Confidence thrives on connection. Isolation can be devastating! Consider this: the antidote to isolation is fostering connection and accountability with yourself and others. It means taking responsibility with compassion and without self-judgement. One of my favorite self-care tools is Self-Care P.I.E.S., which I elaborate on in my book, Dammit…It IS Menopause! This book offers daily Body-Confidence meditations for women over 40. In Dammit!, I share the strategies I use to achieve Body-Confidence and clarity, empowering women to discover and embark on their own Varsity Longevity journey.

What could happen if you stepped out of isolation and connected?

No One is Telling You

While certain perimenopause issues resolve once a woman is post-menopausal, some remain, contingent on quality of self-care. It’s never too late to address Body-Confidence. Make a difference in your own health.

Call to Action

As perimenopausal or post-menopausal women, we are at an important crossroads! This is precisely the time to choose how you’re going to live the rest of your life. What will the quality of your relationships be? With yourself, your body, your family members, your friends? Do you want to spend the rest of your life disliking your body?

This goes way deeper than that…Whether you choose to be Body-Confident for your own vanity, for disease risk reduction, for your loved ones, or all three, it’s work. You’re worth the work. Be accountable and be your own best advocate wherever you are in the transition. Don’t wait till you slug someone in your family martial arts class, like I did.

Your Big Amazing Life awaits. I’d love to hear from you!

Sally Bartlett is a speaker, perimenopause coach, and author of Amazon BestSeller Dammit…It IS Menopause!

On a personal note, she has maintained a body size that is four clothing sizes smaller than it once was … for more than 35 years through sustained Varsity self-acceptance, without dieting. She became a professional health coach so she could walk beside women as they achieve Body-Confidence and break free from negative self-talk.

Her work has been featured in magazines, newspapers, radio, and podcasts across the US, Europe, Australia, and NZ.

Connect with Sally: www.SallyBartlett.com

IG: @itssallybartlett

FB: @Sally Bartlett

LinkedIn: @iamSallyBartlett

Twitter: @ imSallyBartlett